Flare up update...
Good morning all!
I am sure some of you may be aware if you follow my social media (@the_autoimmune_physio) postings that I have recently been struck with an old school flare up.
I call it old school as I haven't experienced one like this for over 10 months.
I wanted to share with you some of the more ugly parts of living with Ankylosing Spondylitis and an autoimmune condition. I believe it is important we don't create a rose tinted version of this disease on social media, then hide away in solitude when the going gets tough!
Now the truth is, I am weak!
I am weak when it comes to life throwing a curve ball, a hurdle , a lesson whatever you want to call it. I do not take knocks backs well, and I am not sure I ever will.
Living with AS and hypermobility is cruel at times....a lot of the time if I am honest. Even though I feel I aim to balance the world by helping others through this disease, if I am honest i'd rather not have anything to share with you.
For 10 months at least I have held the reins, taking control of my diet, lifestyle, work like balance the whole lot and it was working! I was medication free, feeling positive and as every month went by without a flare up I was feeling like I was in control. The thing with AS is, are we ever really in control or just holding onto the reins better at a given time? The anti inflammatory diet, plant based nutrition and mindfulness was really making headway.
Someone lit the fuse again!
Not sure what, why or how....but isn't that the challenge of living with an autoimmune condition?!
What I noticed this time was how easily those raw organic emotions come flooding back to the surface immediately, almost like they never left. The emotions of lack of control, terror, fear, anxiety, depression, loss of the life you wanted.....everything right back as if it never left.
Now, after a few days I get now that is a massive overreaction on my part as this flare is nothing compared to the original ones if I really think back. But perhaps they arise as I have not really dealt with them? Where are those memories held? in the pain?
This is something I now know I have to address in order to achieve the life I want and know I can have.
So you are not alone, you are not weak.... you are processing.
Wishing everyone healthy and strong lives.
We've got this.
Shape your future.
Faye M xx